‘O holy and eternal night sky, consume me in your love, in the Spirit and through the Spirit of all creation, to elevate my soul into the freedom and the power of the Holy Cross.’

It now appears, made of gold, to bring light and joy to my heart.

‘Yes, my Lord, through the power of your Holy Cross and resurrection, we have life in your eternal mercy for the forgiveness of our sins. This purifies, sanctifies, and draws us closer to you and your holy love, which is only goodness.’

I am now having a vision of Jesus. He is both appearing on the Cross, and beside me as the Good Shepherd, offering me his hand to take it and to walk with him on an unseen path. But I know, I believe and I trust that wherever he leads me, it will be for the good of his children. And for the eternal good of our salvation.

‘Yes, my Lord, take me and lead me as you desire. I love you and may the beauty of the wind and the silence of this night draw me ever closer to you.’

Jezus mówi teraz, “My son, come with me. Come and do not look back, but rejoice, leaving everything behind you to follow me for the glory of my love for my children, knowing and trusting that I will give you my heart each day—I, to your heart, for your heart and the hearts of my children.

Yes, my son, you have been waiting for this moment to be with me as we are now so closely united through the power of my Holy Cross that shines in the night sky for the mercy and redemption of my children.”

‘My Lord, since I was a boy, I have waited for this moment in the grass of my grandmother’s yard. There, I felt the warmth of the sun upon my back and the holy light descending through the trees to consume my soul, knowing that you are within me and in everything.

I can still envision my grandmother, Nellie. Her maiden name was Pinder from the islands. She was a sanctified soul, a saint, always quiet, always serving with love and goodness.

Yes, she would open the door to look for me, calling out my name. Oh, I know that you are with me, grandmother, my father’s mother.

On Easter, she would dress in a flower print with small, simple flowers with a bonnet. And Grandpa Clifford was always the showman in his bright-colored suits. I will never forget the pale blue one. It was so bright like him from within. And I can remember his yellow tie.

Nellie would drive faster than Clifford. It was the only time that I saw her alive in her spirit, truly alive, laughing as she would say, “I like to drive fast, and then not from behind the wheel, we say.” She then would return to this quiet state of the soul.

There are things that give us life, that increase our spirit for life. It was a moment of her spirit when she would drive and feel free from all life.

She was quite a tall woman, nearly 6 feet (ca. 183 cm), but as tall as she was, she was as good as her kindness, in which you only felt love. The love that I now feel that was within her, with our Savior’s presence next to me.

Oh, how much I have sought in life just to be normal, like all the other kids, like all my other friends. It was never meant to be, and I am just fine with it. As Saint Augustine said, “My soul will never rest until it rests in you.” Take me, my Lord, by your hand, press me to your heart, and may I rest in you to be who you created me to be.

And my Latin grandmother, Guillermina, was more filled with life in her spirit each and every moment of the day, as with Nelly when she was driving. They were just the opposite, but the same in their goodness. I was most blessed.

Thank you, Father, for having given me such beautiful grandmothers and grandfathers. My grandfather, Dingy, as we would call him (his name was actually Lawrence), was as quiet as Nelly and good. He was a World War II veteran. At 19 or 20, his ship was bombed off Italy. He spent nearly a year in the hospital and his face, which one could not tell at an older age, was severely beaten, cut and bruised. When he came home from the war to the island, he remained mostly in seclusion so that no one could see him but my grandmother Mina. She saw beyond the scars and she was so full of life that nothing was going to take his life. She was fourteen years older than he, and she brought him to life.

Yes, my grandparents were filled with spirit and grace and kindness beyond what the world knows today. In many ways, from another generation, when life was simpler, humbler, pure in its perspectives and faith.

My grandmother Mena’s nails were painted. They were long and red and she used to love to show them off, and Nellie was just the opposite. Hers were cut and quiet versus Mena’s red, as bright as her soul. We used to laugh and she would always want to make us laugh by making fun of herself. She retained her youth till old age and she was quite proud of it.

Nelly died in her sleep at, I believe, 68 or 70 years old. Mina died of a heart attack, but she fought for life for some years. I don’t know who I’d rather be; I believe both of them to seek to be quiet and humble and as alive in spirit as God has made me. These were the joys of my grandparents.

Nellie used to love to cook hamburgers every Saturday and soft scrambled eggs in the morning with toasted bread and peanut butter. Mina, being a Cuban, loved to make her black beans a staple with rice and every sort of meat, seafood or chicken. Not that one needs to know this, but I can still smell the scent of the food. I can feel the softness of Nelly’s skin and hear Mena’s laugh, calling my name every time I used to walk through the door.

Every night at 7, she’d watch Wheel of Fortune. She used to love game shows and she used to love to play games. She was a joy out loud, and Nelly was a joy in her silence. I believe my grandfather Clifford’s soul was screaming to be loud in the suits he would wear to church.

Oh my, me and my cousin Richard, as boys, we would wait every Sunday morning after spending the night there to see how he was going to come out dressed. And when the car wouldn’t start and he would lift the hood to check the engine, we would get inside and beep the horn. He knew we were going to do it, but he still acted out as though he was screaming with shock.

They lived in a little cottage on the island. Mina had nothing as a child. My great-grandmother, her mother, Lela, had many children, so they grew up poor. But Mina was rich in her soul. And when my grandfather left them, Mina raised my mother and she gave her a beautiful life, made everything as pretty as possible – would wallpaper the walls with newspaper and then paint them.

They had little, but they had everything.

So many days filled with joy and happiness and laughter. So many years. And then there were the painful ones, where the joyful ones of the past carried us forward because we had faith, we believed and we trusted. They were strong, and they stood for truth.

My father’s soul was as kind and quiet and gentle as my grandmother’s. And my mother was both sweet and filled with life, like Mina.

I am speaking of this because before I went to bed last night, our Lord brought my father to me. It was the first time since his passing. He was standing there full of life, as physically strong as he was when he was a young man and when he passed. He touched me on my arm, and I could still feel his presence.

Lord, you have given me such mercies and kindness, but I am unworthy.’

"Mój synu," Jesus said, “I want you to remember all that was good because those seeds were laid within your heart through me, through them. Take it and give it to the people. Speak about who you are and where you came from. Did I not tell stories, parables? They are joys that souls relate to.”

‘Yes, my Lord, what more can I say except I love you? I love you and I thank you for this life that you’ve given me, for the graces and blessings each day and for every word that you have spoken to me.

Take me as you desire and I will not forget the past. I will tell the stories when I speak to the people. We must all remember what was good. To bring light to the suffering, hope to the poor and love to the blind.’